Nobody tells you how hard it is to make friends as an adult. Not properly. Not the kind where you can call them on a Tuesday with no reason, or show up to their place and raid the fridge.
When you move abroad, that task gets harder. You're starting from scratch in a country that has its own rhythms, its own humour, its own unwritten rules. And you're doing it while also navigating a new job, a new city, possibly a new climate and a very different approach to coffee.
Nobody replaces the people you grew up with. That's not the point.
The point is that humans need a table. Somewhere to go. People who expect you to show up. The comfort of being known — even a little bit, even recently — by someone who isn't a colleague or a family member on the other side of the world.
Why expat community is different
There's something that happens when you put a group of Kiwis and Aussies in a room together. Within about ten minutes, someone's taking the piss out of someone else, someone's mentioned a beach or a rugby score or a Bunnings, and the room has loosened in a way that takes months to achieve in other social settings.
It's not that you only want to spend time with people from home. Most expats are here because they wanted something different. But there's a particular relief in being around people who share your baseline. Who understand what you gave up. Who don't require explanation.
Building something worth having
The friendships that matter most tend to form around shared experience and repeated proximity. You don't become close with someone after one dinner. But you might, after six. After a year of showing up to the same table, you start to know people's stories. Their quirks. What they're working through.
That's the real reason Franzus Social runs monthly. Not because one dinner changes everything — but because twelve dinners might.